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It was a misty evening, the harsh cold wind touches my skin with anger. While trailing the dark and seems to be an endless road, I found myself gazing at the vast dark sky… trying my best to find the brightest star that night. To my delight, I saw one, a sparkling yellow star making me but to utter “There she is!” – and yes I saw her and I will never ever forget her face. Out of nowhere I realized that maybe I’m just too tired, thus making me worthy to experience these hallucinations. The coldness of the night has nailed my conscience into silence delivering a flashback right into my consciousness, taking me back to that blessed day of the sixth of November, 2007…      

            “ Ready ka na ha, ikaw na yan!!! “ There, right before my eyes she confidently trailed the endless road of victory with undying excitement. The darkness of that evening has never failed me to witness her shining innocence, lighting and giving radiance on her way to triumph. It was really a joyful experience to see her long straight hair waving with gracefulness, perhaps telling the whole world how happy she was on that very moment. “Siiirrrr!!!”, she shouted driven by her overwhelming feeling, she hold’s her breath for  a while and humbly approached me wearing that unforgettable proud angelic face. She then offered me the chance to touch her medal, she smiled and joyously laughed.

            It was a blessed day for me. Producing not one but three champions has made a breakthrough in my five year division press conference campaigns as coach for the news and sportswriting events. That triumph has even caused me to shout on top of my lungs and perform a crazy dance right in front of the people attending the awarding ceremony. Perhaps I am consumed of releasing all the tensions and excitement that had enveloped my heart for months after investing hours and patience of bringing these young souls to the path of journalism.

            Finally after years of drought and defeat, a new seed of young journalists blooms right into my eyes. They had even erased all the frustrations that I had kept for years. For my previous campaigns it has been always a sad day to witness young writers weep for defeat. A situation that always brought me back to my college day experiences - for my two-year campaign in the collegiate press conferences as news and sports writer I always settle for fourth or fifth place. On which a year after, in historical Cebu I found my revenge, grabbing the second place award in sportswriting Filipino category but not as a contestant anymore - this time as the coach of the same event.

The reminiscence

            She was a contestant three years in the making for me. Way back 2005 when I made a remarkable discovery of young talented writers in my humble grade three Dahlia advisory class (now the location of the newly installed Multimedia Room). The day after the examination has tempted me to discuss about sportswriting, which ended in a simple exercises. As I read their outputs, two unique sports stories has instantly caught my attention. I can still remember that I placed these articles in a page of my HEKASI book and read it for four times during that day.  

I can always remember her as a simple girl seated at the back row wearing that cute innocent face… and always ready to throw her unique charming smile whenever I teased her with the name “Essa Mia”. She was one of my favorite pupil, for her face shows the resemblance of my girl bestfriend when I was in grade two. I will never forget the way how she offers her instant courtesy and renders her natural politeness, of which any teachers will admire of.

Many times I caught her singing while walking at the corridor, and tease her with my favorite line “ Uy ganda pala ng boses mo tinatago mo lang “, she will always reply with a smile, “ Di Naman Sir! “… On her fifth grade It has always been a delight for me to see her singing the song “ Tuloy Pa Rin” while performing an activity on her assigned unit at the back row of the computer laboratory.

THE GATHERING OF STORMS

            It was a casual Sunday afternoon, on my way to my Laboratory two cheerful souls approached me. It was my two sportswriters eagerly waiting for my presence. “ Unta! Kanina pa kayo? “, I asked them and they replied “ Hindi pa naman Sir… “.

It has been a tradition for me to train pupil journalists during weekends where I can easily monitor their outputs. Since the quietness of the surrounding will give them enough focus and concentration in writing sports and news articles. As always the usual setup is having the table and the chairs placed in the middle of the corridor, where we are like a family having a worthwhile conference.

I handed them their first sports and news exercise and returned to my laboratory. I make myself busy arranging my things on top of my table. When suddenly the harsh wind coming from the window has dropped a picture into the floor. It was the class picture of my then grade three dahlia class. I went out again and uttered a joke, “ Hoy tingnan nyo yung mga mukha nyo nung grade three pa kayo, ang papangit nyo pa!”. I handed them the picture and went back to my laboratory again.

      An hour later, Essa Mia approached me. “Sir… tapos na…”. As I read her article I found my self secretly rejoicing with great delight. “This is it!”, I told myself. “Huwag ka maingay siguradong pupunta na tayo ng Zamboanga…” I told her as if I am giving a promise… And I saw her happiness during that afternoon. She was running back and forth on the aisle of the laboratory. But to my surprise making a glance at her I was amazed seeing her as if she was really floating from the air… On that very moment, I was honestly frightened and become uneasy. I immediately approached her, “Hindi pa nga tayo nananalo bakit lumulutang ka na?”. I will never forget how she answered my question with an innocent look leaving to me but just a simple and unforgettable smile. “Kaya naman pala, ang haba ng pantalon mo kasi…” Still amazed, I uttered. I sent her back to the group ordering her to rewrite her article and went back again to my computer, still thinking of that very unusual incident. I turned on my computer’s music player and played Mandy Moore’s version of the song “Umbrella”. I played that song over and over again. And I was amused to saw her singing the song with both feet on top of the chair, writing her story with eagerness. And we are all singing that song, without knowing that she was now singing her farewell message.    

            “ Okey uwian na!..” I ask the group to line-up in front of me as I remind them of the things they have to bring during the regional contest. Again I found myself in a very rare situation. “ Angie, Essa may telepono kayo kaya tumawag kayo pag dumating na kayo ha”, “ Ikaw Patty may cellphone ka magtext ka pag dumating ka na rin para mapalagay ako kung nakauwi na kayo ha…” I told them and wait for their assurance. “Yes Sir!”, They replied in chorus.

After preparing their things, one by one left the laboratory uttering “ Goodbye Sir!”. Seated in front of my computer, I heard Essa saying “ Goodbye Sir!...” Without looking at her I replied “Goodbye…”. Then she returned again. As I checked who is at the door, I saw her waving her left hand… “ Goodbye Sir Eumeirrrrxx…” And that was the last time I saw her smiling at me. The last time I will ever see her innocent smile again.

You had my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the Dark
You can see shiny Cars
That's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend…

The sudden stop of the motorcycle’s engine has brought me back my consciousness. The flashbacks that I am having suddenly burst right before my eyes giving me the chance to regain my awareness.  Then my heartbeat becomes faster, my hands were shaking. I felt that my two feet becomes heavy as trailing  towards her direction.

My heart was like being pounded upon seeing her lifeless away from the hopes and dreams she has started to build. It seems that life is so unfair for she is not worthy to suffer such tragic accident. As I pray in front of her I found myself weeping in tears. I whispered to her I have fulfilled my promise of bringing her into the regional contest. Two days after her death, was the opening parade of the regional contest in Naga. I worn her shirt during the parade with her ID. And always have with me her sportswriting notebook, one of the last important things she have before that fateful accident.     

On the morning of Christmas day of 2007, I went back to visit her tomb again. I lighted a white candle and offered her three white roses. Into the silence with my music player I played her favorite song, “ Tuloy Pa Rin “. It is there that I realized why she loved this song very much. The song tells us of undying hope, of ones preparedness of accepting a new beginning. As heaven called her to join the angels of God, perhaps I am so blessed that she has trusted me to bid her last farewell.

This is the story of Reena Mae Essa, this is our story, this is how she fell holding her mighty pen leaving me but to pick it up again. Forever I will hold it firmly… And will continue writing the meaningful story of her life… “ Dahil Tuloy Pa Rin Ang Awit Ng Buhay Nya…”                  

          In the light of Journalism I found her sincerity, in the discipline of sportswriting I have witnessed her ability. She has taught me the best sports story ever written in this world - and that is the game called life.  

I will miss you...essa...